Nothing But The Truth Blog
# 25 Talker On Understanding Female Talk
Conversations between speakers requires a basic understanding of applied nuances. Throw in the body language of eyes, tonal inflection, and hand motions, it’s a wonder that any comprehension takes place.
Have long been aware of the idiosyncrasies, idioms, strictures, subtlety,and succinctness that can make for gentle confusion. Never bothered to toss them into a grouping for future reference. Some others did do just that. There are many more of course. Even the simple ‘I love you too’, takes on various meaning, depending on how applied.
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’. that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
( Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.
1. Fine: Depends heavily on the context. A ‘fine’ after asking, say, “How was work?”, means “It was f***ed, I’m not interested in talking about it”. Fine at the end of an argument, however, has the same connotations as when a woman would use it, but it is USUALLY SHOUTED LIKE THIS because us men have trouble using an inside voice when we’re angry.
2. Five minutes: What is he doing? Videogames? Five minutes is about half an hour then, or until he finds the ever elusive ‘next save point’. Getting ready for sex? Five minutes is two minutes. Preparing to leave? Five minutes means five minutes, and if you’re not in the car in exactly five minutes you will find yourself under a veritable barrage of honking until you rectify the fact.
3. Nothing: Is largely a synonym for ‘fine’, though more resolute. A ‘fine’ can be challenged, a ‘nothing’ is completely off limits, and rather than signaling that an argument is forth coming, it should tell any man-savvy woman that whatever is wrong is not up for discussion with her, her mother, or anyone she is related to. Full stop. Period.
4.Go ahead: “I’m not interested in arguing with you anymore, do whatever the hell you want. See if I care!” Often accompanied by a #1.
5.Loud sigh: Sometimes with a curse, like ‘J***s Ch***t’ or ‘F**king hell’, this is a sign of frustration, and means, basically, “I so don’t understand the issue here, what is she still pissed about? My conclusive rebuttals weren’t enough for her?”
6.That’s okay: This is a sign of disappointment. If a dude tells you ‘that’s okay’ after you’ve just admitted something, it means his respect for you has taken a free fall and he’s not sure what to say that won’t insult you, despite his current feelings. If a guy is saying ‘that’s okay’ a lot, you should examine your patterns and find out why.
7.Thanks: This depends largely on the context and intonation. Like eels and shotguns, ‘thanks’ is a slippery beast and by no means can be explained in one dot point. So I won’t.
8. Whatever: “I’m over it. I’m not interested in arguing. I still think I’m right, but you know what? You don’t, and I’m beyond caring. F**k you.” That’s what ‘whatever’ means.
9.Don’t worry about it, I got it: This isn’t often used by men, but when uttered it holds the same connotations as “Stop asking if I need help, I am a MAN, I am more than capable of handling this shit myself”. Women often challenge this, which can result in a #4 #5 combo, or, worse, a #1 followed up by an #8.